6 Months...182 days...4388 hours...263321 minutes. It seems like such a long time, but it so isn't.
Why am I thinking about this amount of time you ask? Well, it's 6 months to the day away from when I'll be marrying the man of my dreams...my absolute best friend...my soul mate. So many things are going to happen between now and then. For example, there's Christmas, New Year's, and countless other holidays. There's also my birthday and Dan's birthday, as well as many other friends parties and dinners to attend for their special days. There's the new addition, new adjustments and new memories. Not to mention the cake tasting, dress fittings and dj meetings.
And I can't wait for all of it. I can't wait to walk down that isle. I can't wait to slip that ring on Dan's finger (not to mention have him slip my bands on me!). I can't wait to see friends and family and get all dolled up, and cry as I kiss my HUSBAND!! It's all going to be amazing.
As I head off to bed, I can't help but think I only have 182 more nights of sleeping as a Coons (more on this in another post...look for that one soon). In 183 days I'll be falling asleep as Mrs. Munson...woah.
Daisypath Wedding tickers
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
And the best bride award goes to...ME!
Wow! So much has changed since my last post. Let's see, I got my DREAM dress!! Fell in love with it the second I put it on, and was dead set on getting it! I couldn't get it off my mind the whole appointment! I think we knew it was the one when I looked at Dan's mom and told her I could see myself marrying her son in that dress (cue the tissues for all of us!). It was a great moment.
Also, our parents all met and it went GREAT! All the anxiety I had about it went out the window, which felt awesome! They all got along really well, and have been talking on e-mail! I couldn't be happier, and can't wait for us all to be together again around Christmas!
Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I would give myself the (arguably arrogant--go ahead and think whatever you want) honor of Best Bride. Well, let me explain myself, as I didn't completely self assign the title myself. I guess we'll rewind time to the summertime of 2010. I was asked to be in (we'll leave it at that since my title "changed"...apparently I misread bridesmaid and saw maid of honor...anyways) a wedding that my then friend was having this past October. I went down to Albany to look at dresses with her, and that day, she found the one she loved. I proceeded to buy it, spending $140ish dollars I did not have, but knowing it was what she wanted, and being a bridesmaid, wanted to do whatever I could to make her day perfect. A few weeks later she decided against that dress, and asking us girls to get different one. Apparently I was the only one who had bought the first one, and therefore the only one feeling the financial burden of having to buy not one, but two dresses at this point. Explaining to this individual I couldn't afford a second dress at that time (we're still months away from the wedding at this point) but could do something in the near future, I was, without warning, automatically kicked out of the wedding and replaced in a matter of minutes. I was beyond hurt, crushed and confused, but I found comfort in the fact that I couldn't pull money out of the air (something I thought this person would understand), and if our friendship was defined by dollar signs, maybe it wasn't a friendship I wanted to be a part of. Never the less, I was very upset it was so easy to "replace" me and have me miss out on that day.
Fast forward to this week. It had always been on my mind how hard it was to come up with the money for the original bridesmaid's dress I purchased. It was even harder knowing I bought something I knew I would never use again (it is in fact still in my closet--tags on). Throughout my wedding planning, I had always expressed to Dan, my mom, etc. that I hated asking my best friends to spend that kind of money, but was always reassured that it was what was done, and entirely acceptable. Well that didn't fly with me. So, for the past few weeks I've been pulling crazy overtime at my job to save up some money. When asked, I told everyone I wanted the money to spend on Christmas gifts, when really I had something else in mind.
My girls and I showed up at the bridal salon to try on a few dresses this past Monday, and ultimately decided on the one we purchased (which was a unanimous decision thank goodness). As all of the girls were heading up to the register to pay, I asked them all to step back as I wanted to talk to them. I confirmed they all loved the dresses, and told them how happy and thankful I was that they were all going to be there for me. As a thank you for being such amazing friends, I told them I wanted to pay for their dresses. Of course I was met with the no's and absolutely not's, but luckily for me I had already given my card to the lady at the register, and the transaction was already done. My best friend and maid of honor began to cry, giving me a huge hug and telling me how much that meant to her as spending $160 dollars on a dress wasn't feasible for her currently. Of course, at that point, everyone began to tear up, sharing similar stories, hugs were shared, and the consult told the girls how lucky they were to have a bride like me (thus where the title of Best Bride came in--that's what she told me I was)...I assured her I am the lucky one to have such amazing friends in them. It was a great moment, and one I will cherish forever...
I'm not one to let this wedding come in between any friendships--it's not that important. I love every single member of my bridal party, as well as all those attending the wedding and I really am fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. I love each and every one of you!
Only 196 more days... =)
Also, our parents all met and it went GREAT! All the anxiety I had about it went out the window, which felt awesome! They all got along really well, and have been talking on e-mail! I couldn't be happier, and can't wait for us all to be together again around Christmas!
Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I would give myself the (arguably arrogant--go ahead and think whatever you want) honor of Best Bride. Well, let me explain myself, as I didn't completely self assign the title myself. I guess we'll rewind time to the summertime of 2010. I was asked to be in (we'll leave it at that since my title "changed"...apparently I misread bridesmaid and saw maid of honor...anyways) a wedding that my then friend was having this past October. I went down to Albany to look at dresses with her, and that day, she found the one she loved. I proceeded to buy it, spending $140ish dollars I did not have, but knowing it was what she wanted, and being a bridesmaid, wanted to do whatever I could to make her day perfect. A few weeks later she decided against that dress, and asking us girls to get different one. Apparently I was the only one who had bought the first one, and therefore the only one feeling the financial burden of having to buy not one, but two dresses at this point. Explaining to this individual I couldn't afford a second dress at that time (we're still months away from the wedding at this point) but could do something in the near future, I was, without warning, automatically kicked out of the wedding and replaced in a matter of minutes. I was beyond hurt, crushed and confused, but I found comfort in the fact that I couldn't pull money out of the air (something I thought this person would understand), and if our friendship was defined by dollar signs, maybe it wasn't a friendship I wanted to be a part of. Never the less, I was very upset it was so easy to "replace" me and have me miss out on that day.
Fast forward to this week. It had always been on my mind how hard it was to come up with the money for the original bridesmaid's dress I purchased. It was even harder knowing I bought something I knew I would never use again (it is in fact still in my closet--tags on). Throughout my wedding planning, I had always expressed to Dan, my mom, etc. that I hated asking my best friends to spend that kind of money, but was always reassured that it was what was done, and entirely acceptable. Well that didn't fly with me. So, for the past few weeks I've been pulling crazy overtime at my job to save up some money. When asked, I told everyone I wanted the money to spend on Christmas gifts, when really I had something else in mind.
My girls and I showed up at the bridal salon to try on a few dresses this past Monday, and ultimately decided on the one we purchased (which was a unanimous decision thank goodness). As all of the girls were heading up to the register to pay, I asked them all to step back as I wanted to talk to them. I confirmed they all loved the dresses, and told them how happy and thankful I was that they were all going to be there for me. As a thank you for being such amazing friends, I told them I wanted to pay for their dresses. Of course I was met with the no's and absolutely not's, but luckily for me I had already given my card to the lady at the register, and the transaction was already done. My best friend and maid of honor began to cry, giving me a huge hug and telling me how much that meant to her as spending $160 dollars on a dress wasn't feasible for her currently. Of course, at that point, everyone began to tear up, sharing similar stories, hugs were shared, and the consult told the girls how lucky they were to have a bride like me (thus where the title of Best Bride came in--that's what she told me I was)...I assured her I am the lucky one to have such amazing friends in them. It was a great moment, and one I will cherish forever...
I'm not one to let this wedding come in between any friendships--it's not that important. I love every single member of my bridal party, as well as all those attending the wedding and I really am fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. I love each and every one of you!
Only 196 more days... =)
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Save the Date! Only 7 more months!
Save the Dates are officially in the mail. I'm majorly obsessed with them. We had them specially done to match the colors of the wedding, and they look fab if I do say so myself (don't mind the fact that I have a bias as my wonderful husband to be and I are pictured on them!)!
Flowers are picked out and ready to go...so much more expensive than I thought, but they're going to be beautiful and that's all that matters. I'd tell you details, but I want my guests to be totally surprised...guess you'll have to wait and see!
My dad also knows the most amazing cake designer (yes that's her title and her job!) that does cakes for some of Saratoga's elite socialites, and guess what?! SHE'S DOING MY CAKE!! It's going to be 5 tiers of amazingness! I can't wait to see the sketches!
7 months from today I'll just be leaving my reception as Mrs. Jessica Munson! I'm already dreading it being over--it's going to be one amazing day!! I cannot wait!
Flowers are picked out and ready to go...so much more expensive than I thought, but they're going to be beautiful and that's all that matters. I'd tell you details, but I want my guests to be totally surprised...guess you'll have to wait and see!
My dad also knows the most amazing cake designer (yes that's her title and her job!) that does cakes for some of Saratoga's elite socialites, and guess what?! SHE'S DOING MY CAKE!! It's going to be 5 tiers of amazingness! I can't wait to see the sketches!
7 months from today I'll just be leaving my reception as Mrs. Jessica Munson! I'm already dreading it being over--it's going to be one amazing day!! I cannot wait!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Things are coming together!
Well I'm about to take the apple caramel cake I made from scratch out of the oven, so I don't have much time to write BUT I wanted to let all my faithful readers know things are really coming together for Dan and I on the wedding front. Our guest list (of 185--YIKES!) is done, save the dates are ordered, families are behind us 100% and things couldn't be more exciting! I'm absolutely loving every minute of the planning, and can't wait to tackle item after item on my extremely long to do list! To-be-Hubby bought me a personalized tote that says "The Future Mrs. Munson" on it for me to keep all my bridal magazines and like that in--it's pink and I love it! Now if only time would move a tad bit quicker--I'm already tired of waiting!!!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
HOLY MOLEY!!!
SOOOOO my wedding is 8 months away...EIGHT MONTHS!! That totally seems like a huge number, but it's going to flyyyy by I'm sure!! I absolutely cannot freakin' wait!
Last week, venue--completely paid off (writing an $8,000 check is quite the experience!), DJ appointments this week (music is very important!) Next week flowers and my DRESS!! Ok ok, so I have one hanging in the closet, but this next one is THE DRESS. We're talking mom, future mother in law, bridesmaids and maid of honor at the appointment--the whole experience...THE DRESS!!!
I absolutely cannot wait to call Dan my husband...
Can you tell I'm excited?
Last week, venue--completely paid off (writing an $8,000 check is quite the experience!), DJ appointments this week (music is very important!) Next week flowers and my DRESS!! Ok ok, so I have one hanging in the closet, but this next one is THE DRESS. We're talking mom, future mother in law, bridesmaids and maid of honor at the appointment--the whole experience...THE DRESS!!!
I absolutely cannot wait to call Dan my husband...
Can you tell I'm excited?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
New Rule
Please don't act like you know what is best for me. Please don't think you know it all. Please don't judge my opinions, beliefs or choices--I know you don't like it when others do it to you. Your shock and disapproval really upset me earlier. Please don't let it happen again.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Continued
For fear of coming off "ranty" in my last post, I wanted to clarify...
I'm not trying to sound like some snotty girl who expects everyone to come to her and shower her with the kind of love and devotion we see between the characters on "Friends." I'm simply going through this process of finding out I don't value myself the way I should. I tend to (in most cases) surround myself with people that don't make me feel so great, and in turn, cause me to get very upset and enter some pretty low and dark places emotionally. I'm not saying someone should cut a friend out of their lives because they are "up to par" that week. I'm simply saying it is good to know where your expectations are, as well as knowing what you need from others. I just fear I've been having constant "sub-par" friendships, and learning (or striving to learn) how to live upset 5 out of 7 days of the week. I think everyone, at one point or another, can disappoint someone--I'm sure I do in some way shape or form upset a patient, friend, partner, etc. in some cases. BUT with that being said, I recognize this and do whatever I can to make amends (apology, etc.). Expectations, and a lack of meeting them for that matter, isn't an end all be all. Step up. If you know you're being a not so great friend, apologize and be there. If a friend is reaching out to you for help, help them as long as it won't harm you. All we have is each other on this planet. Sure, all we can trust when we lay our heads on our pillows at night is ourselves, but we're human beings. We CRAVE human interaction. Without it, we would basically be cells walking around aimlessly. What I'm getting at (and I apologize for the disorganization of this post), is basically that, although we do not NEED others for survival, stability, etc. (well, that isn't all true, but that's for another blog), having others around is a definite benefit. When this benefit turns harmful as a friend is not being a true "friend," real damage can be done.
I'm not trying to sound like some snotty girl who expects everyone to come to her and shower her with the kind of love and devotion we see between the characters on "Friends." I'm simply going through this process of finding out I don't value myself the way I should. I tend to (in most cases) surround myself with people that don't make me feel so great, and in turn, cause me to get very upset and enter some pretty low and dark places emotionally. I'm not saying someone should cut a friend out of their lives because they are "up to par" that week. I'm simply saying it is good to know where your expectations are, as well as knowing what you need from others. I just fear I've been having constant "sub-par" friendships, and learning (or striving to learn) how to live upset 5 out of 7 days of the week. I think everyone, at one point or another, can disappoint someone--I'm sure I do in some way shape or form upset a patient, friend, partner, etc. in some cases. BUT with that being said, I recognize this and do whatever I can to make amends (apology, etc.). Expectations, and a lack of meeting them for that matter, isn't an end all be all. Step up. If you know you're being a not so great friend, apologize and be there. If a friend is reaching out to you for help, help them as long as it won't harm you. All we have is each other on this planet. Sure, all we can trust when we lay our heads on our pillows at night is ourselves, but we're human beings. We CRAVE human interaction. Without it, we would basically be cells walking around aimlessly. What I'm getting at (and I apologize for the disorganization of this post), is basically that, although we do not NEED others for survival, stability, etc. (well, that isn't all true, but that's for another blog), having others around is a definite benefit. When this benefit turns harmful as a friend is not being a true "friend," real damage can be done.
"I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing, than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing..."
A talk with arguably one of my best friends last night prompted this post. I guess, after talking with him, I began to realize my expectations in a friendship. Now, don't run and hide--I know expectations is a scary word, but bear with me for a second.
Friendship, hmm...what does that mean to me. I guess I can sum it up in the following.
Friends means being friends.
Friends, do the following (or should according to me):
-Talk on a frequent basis-no not daily, but not days/weeks apart
-Have meaningful conversations when they talk
-Don't lie to each other
-Don't back-stab each other
-Make plans, and KEEP them
-Realize what the other means to them
-Are there for each other, even when times are really tough
-Value each other
-Fight for their friendship, even if they're really really upset
-Apologize when it's necessary, and welcome an apology when it's warranted
I guess I don't find these things to be too hard. A simple text, or dinner out once every week or so doesn't seem like torture--after all, aren't you supposed to WANT to see your friends?
So this got me thinking...why do I settle for friends who don't meet my expectations. Why do I put up with social relationships that are one sided. Why do I, time and time again, ask friends to hang out with me, only to be not answered, rejected, turned down for other people, or worse, have a plan and then be stood up or cancelled on last minute?
Perhaps it's time I stopped living like this...
A wise man once quoted a musical during a conversation with me..."I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing, than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing..." I couldn't have said it better. I'm somewhat fed up with trying to have tons of friends, only to be valued by 2 or 3. I think maybe it's time I invest my efforts in those friends that reciprocate them. I love all of my friends, and would do anything for them, however, when I become the one that is always contacted for straight up money, a meal out they can't afford, advice when none is ever given back, and a shoulder to lean on/ear to listen when there isn't one available for me when I need it, I get a little fed up.
I hate to say I'm weeding out friends, because I'm a strong believer in the fact that if a friendship is termed "lost," perhaps it wasn't ever a friendship at all. Perhaps, these "lost" friendships that I find myself with aren't really friendships in the first place.
I don't mean to seem so jaded or self-deprecating, just food for thought.
To all you readers out there, be best friends when it's warranted. Pick up the phone when you have a second. Don't let those who care about you down, and realize what you have in others.
Friendship, hmm...what does that mean to me. I guess I can sum it up in the following.
Friends means being friends.
Friends, do the following (or should according to me):
-Talk on a frequent basis-no not daily, but not days/weeks apart
-Have meaningful conversations when they talk
-Don't lie to each other
-Don't back-stab each other
-Make plans, and KEEP them
-Realize what the other means to them
-Are there for each other, even when times are really tough
-Value each other
-Fight for their friendship, even if they're really really upset
-Apologize when it's necessary, and welcome an apology when it's warranted
I guess I don't find these things to be too hard. A simple text, or dinner out once every week or so doesn't seem like torture--after all, aren't you supposed to WANT to see your friends?
So this got me thinking...why do I settle for friends who don't meet my expectations. Why do I put up with social relationships that are one sided. Why do I, time and time again, ask friends to hang out with me, only to be not answered, rejected, turned down for other people, or worse, have a plan and then be stood up or cancelled on last minute?
Perhaps it's time I stopped living like this...
A wise man once quoted a musical during a conversation with me..."I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing, than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing..." I couldn't have said it better. I'm somewhat fed up with trying to have tons of friends, only to be valued by 2 or 3. I think maybe it's time I invest my efforts in those friends that reciprocate them. I love all of my friends, and would do anything for them, however, when I become the one that is always contacted for straight up money, a meal out they can't afford, advice when none is ever given back, and a shoulder to lean on/ear to listen when there isn't one available for me when I need it, I get a little fed up.
I hate to say I'm weeding out friends, because I'm a strong believer in the fact that if a friendship is termed "lost," perhaps it wasn't ever a friendship at all. Perhaps, these "lost" friendships that I find myself with aren't really friendships in the first place.
I don't mean to seem so jaded or self-deprecating, just food for thought.
To all you readers out there, be best friends when it's warranted. Pick up the phone when you have a second. Don't let those who care about you down, and realize what you have in others.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Marriage, milestones and changes...
Wow--been a while since I've posted!!! Since my last update, I've graduated college, have been offered (and accepted) a full time mental health professional position at the local hospital, and applied to a handful of PhD programs!! I've been quite busy and productive, and am so excited about all these changes and accomplishments!!
Perhaps, however, the biggest and most recent change is currently the most exciting...As everyone knows from my older posts, I'm currently engaged to the most amazing man on the planet (seriously...THE most amaznig) and am currently in the planning stages of our wedding! He makes my dreams come true every single day, and I couldn't thank him enough for that. He believes in me, loves me, and makes me feel like a princess. This "granted wish" however, takes the cake..
As some of you know, my "official" proposal from Dan came when we took our first vacation together at Walt Disney World (the unofficial one (lol) came before that because he couldn't wait any longer <3, but the real, down on one knee, tears in his eyes, sobbing done by me happened there) during my favorite fireworks show "Wishes." As we've been planning the wedding, I've been telling Dan I want to have aspects of Disney there, not only because of the proposal, but because, hands down, without a doubt, it is my favorite place on this whole entire Earth, and the place where so many of my favorite memories with both my family and Dan have happened.
Last night, while looking for ideas for favors, I threw a personalized Cinderella themed candle holder idea off Dan. "Yeah...it's alright, but there's other ways to fit Cinderella into the wedding..." Confused, I asked him to clarify. He asked me to get up from my computer, and go get a drink. Again, confused, I asked him to clarify. "Just do it Jess." Since he used Jess, and not honey or love, I knew he meant business...
As I returned to the office from the kitchen, he promptly asked me to close my eyes. I did, handing him his drink and setting mine down carefully, before he guided me over to my chair. I opened my eyes, and on the screen I saw the website for Disney's Enchanted Weddings, a site I've looked at constantly for years. "I've seen this before babe...hundreds of times," I told Dan as he smiled at me. "We could NEVER afford this."
"Whatever you say!" he replied as he went to sit at his desk. "Make sure you keep August 25th open-I know Cinderella marked it down already."
I called him a jerk, among other things, for teasing me like that, until he began to tell me more confirmation information. "They just need you to call on Monday to tell them details."
I sobbed.
And sobbed.
And sobbed some more.
My BIGGEST dream that I've had since I was a little girl is coming true!! I'm marrying my Prince Charming at the most magical and happiest place on Earth!
BUT...it gets better. Our families are helping to get 10 of our closest friends there as well! We're investigating costs now (plane vs. driving, etc.) and I'm so excited to tell them once we know! Knowing that I'm marrying the man of my dreams, and having my bridesmaids and closest friends there is absolutely amazing!
I can't believe this is happening, even as I type it now...it still hasn't set it! AH!! All I can tell you is, I AM SO EXCITED!
"A dream is a wish your heart makes"-- Cinderella <3
Perhaps, however, the biggest and most recent change is currently the most exciting...As everyone knows from my older posts, I'm currently engaged to the most amazing man on the planet (seriously...THE most amaznig) and am currently in the planning stages of our wedding! He makes my dreams come true every single day, and I couldn't thank him enough for that. He believes in me, loves me, and makes me feel like a princess. This "granted wish" however, takes the cake..
As some of you know, my "official" proposal from Dan came when we took our first vacation together at Walt Disney World (the unofficial one (lol) came before that because he couldn't wait any longer <3, but the real, down on one knee, tears in his eyes, sobbing done by me happened there) during my favorite fireworks show "Wishes." As we've been planning the wedding, I've been telling Dan I want to have aspects of Disney there, not only because of the proposal, but because, hands down, without a doubt, it is my favorite place on this whole entire Earth, and the place where so many of my favorite memories with both my family and Dan have happened.
Last night, while looking for ideas for favors, I threw a personalized Cinderella themed candle holder idea off Dan. "Yeah...it's alright, but there's other ways to fit Cinderella into the wedding..." Confused, I asked him to clarify. He asked me to get up from my computer, and go get a drink. Again, confused, I asked him to clarify. "Just do it Jess." Since he used Jess, and not honey or love, I knew he meant business...
As I returned to the office from the kitchen, he promptly asked me to close my eyes. I did, handing him his drink and setting mine down carefully, before he guided me over to my chair. I opened my eyes, and on the screen I saw the website for Disney's Enchanted Weddings, a site I've looked at constantly for years. "I've seen this before babe...hundreds of times," I told Dan as he smiled at me. "We could NEVER afford this."
"Whatever you say!" he replied as he went to sit at his desk. "Make sure you keep August 25th open-I know Cinderella marked it down already."
I called him a jerk, among other things, for teasing me like that, until he began to tell me more confirmation information. "They just need you to call on Monday to tell them details."
I sobbed.
And sobbed.
And sobbed some more.
My BIGGEST dream that I've had since I was a little girl is coming true!! I'm marrying my Prince Charming at the most magical and happiest place on Earth!
BUT...it gets better. Our families are helping to get 10 of our closest friends there as well! We're investigating costs now (plane vs. driving, etc.) and I'm so excited to tell them once we know! Knowing that I'm marrying the man of my dreams, and having my bridesmaids and closest friends there is absolutely amazing!
I can't believe this is happening, even as I type it now...it still hasn't set it! AH!! All I can tell you is, I AM SO EXCITED!
"A dream is a wish your heart makes"-- Cinderella <3
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I could use some advice...
Hey all you readers (ok, the 5 of you that religiously follow this HAHA!)
I could use some advice...It's currently 3:15am NY time (thought I would throw that in for all you non-NY readers) and I'm still awake. Why you ask? Nope, it isn't homework, or laundry, or the furry kids or insomia. It's not because a tv show I want to watch is on, or because I have something baking in the oven...
It's because my husband isn't home (ok not husband yet, but close enough). He's currently 9 hours and 15 minutes in to his 12 hour shift, which means I have been missing him for the 9 hours and 45 minutes I've been without him.
And I can't sleep...not without him here. I hate going to bed first, and therefore, act like a total idiot and stay up until 6:30 am when he gets home so we can fall asleep together. Downfall of this plan-10 am class when he gets to sleep all day! lol
Here comes your part: the advice. Pretty soon (with the 'hurry up and wait' mentality of the military I can't give you a date yet) he'll be gone for many multiple 12 hour shifts in a row...12 hour shifts that equal 3 whole months of going to bed first, and even if I stay up until 6:30 am, he won't be coming home.
And I have no idea how to deal with this...
Clearly I can't stay awake for 3 months straight and sleep when he gets home! So readers...what is your advice? I know none of you are military wives, but I'm sure you've had to deal with similar stations at some point or another. So, help me out, because I'm getting wayyy too tired for my own good!
"Only a life lived for others is the life worthwhile."
-Albert Einstein
I could use some advice...It's currently 3:15am NY time (thought I would throw that in for all you non-NY readers) and I'm still awake. Why you ask? Nope, it isn't homework, or laundry, or the furry kids or insomia. It's not because a tv show I want to watch is on, or because I have something baking in the oven...
It's because my husband isn't home (ok not husband yet, but close enough). He's currently 9 hours and 15 minutes in to his 12 hour shift, which means I have been missing him for the 9 hours and 45 minutes I've been without him.
And I can't sleep...not without him here. I hate going to bed first, and therefore, act like a total idiot and stay up until 6:30 am when he gets home so we can fall asleep together. Downfall of this plan-10 am class when he gets to sleep all day! lol
Here comes your part: the advice. Pretty soon (with the 'hurry up and wait' mentality of the military I can't give you a date yet) he'll be gone for many multiple 12 hour shifts in a row...12 hour shifts that equal 3 whole months of going to bed first, and even if I stay up until 6:30 am, he won't be coming home.
And I have no idea how to deal with this...
Clearly I can't stay awake for 3 months straight and sleep when he gets home! So readers...what is your advice? I know none of you are military wives, but I'm sure you've had to deal with similar stations at some point or another. So, help me out, because I'm getting wayyy too tired for my own good!
"Only a life lived for others is the life worthwhile."
-Albert Einstein
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Just a Note.
Dear President Obama,
I hear you would like to freeze pay rates, or worse, eliminate them all together, for soldiers starting next year, and even those currently enlisted. Would you also consider cutting your own pay to save more money for our country? While you're at it, let's cut down all congressman's pay too. If the people who risk their lives don't get an increase in pay, why should we continue raising pay for those who take no risks and reap the benefits? Seems like everyone in Washington is doing alright, and able to walk the streets safely...am I wrong? Didn't think so. What you are doing is unfair! Can't wait until 2012 when someone knew sits in that Oval Office.
Sincerely,
A pissed off military (almost) wife
I hear you would like to freeze pay rates, or worse, eliminate them all together, for soldiers starting next year, and even those currently enlisted. Would you also consider cutting your own pay to save more money for our country? While you're at it, let's cut down all congressman's pay too. If the people who risk their lives don't get an increase in pay, why should we continue raising pay for those who take no risks and reap the benefits? Seems like everyone in Washington is doing alright, and able to walk the streets safely...am I wrong? Didn't think so. What you are doing is unfair! Can't wait until 2012 when someone knew sits in that Oval Office.
Sincerely,
A pissed off military (almost) wife
Monday, April 4, 2011
To whom it may concern:
Let me start by saying the following: No, this isn't about you...or you...or the person you think this is about. This is a collection feelings and emotions, ones I can't speak about anymore because, in many cases, I feel as though I can't talk to those closest to me anymore.
This is me speaking my mind, something that is causing my hands to shake as I write this. This is me being honest, something I should have been with these individuals. This is me, writing to the collective "you," although each and every person reading this can benefit from it's words. This is me poring my heart out, and knowing that could be detrimental, but being so upset about all of this, I don't have the capacity to care anymore...
To whom it may concern:
Hi, how are you? I sincerely hope that you are having an amazing day, as you always seen to be, even if that is a lie. I most certainly, truthfully, am not. Why you ask? Well let's see...I don't lead an amazing lifestyle, and don't fabricate it to sound amazing. Ends aren't meeting this month, and it's really stressing me out. I'm marrying my best friend in 2 weeks, and shortly thereafter saying goodbye to him. He could be going somewhere terrifyingly scary, and the thought of that causes me to be unable to hold it together most moments in the day. School is insane, and I can't wait to graduate-although I'm not sure if I will. Life is crazy, and everything is falling apart. I've never needed support as much as I do now.
I've been turning to you for this, and you haven't been there...not in the slightest. I hate the mini parties I have internally when you say that you want to hang out with me. I get excited when you text me first, as opposed to the other way around. But lately, those parties and exciting times have become few and far between. Countless texts have gone unanswered, or pushed aside for television or another outing. I can't remember the last time I had to state my case for you spending time with me. And, above all else, you questioned my best friend and his position in the United States Military. Just because you think you know it all, doesn't mean you actually do. In this questioning process, you offended not only myself and my to be husband, but his commanding officers and unit as well. Awesome job. I don't care if you hurt me-I'm used to it-but hurting them is not okay in my book.
I'm tired of coming in second place to other friends, the couch, shopping trips and countless other things. I'm not saying you have to be with me or talk to me 110% of the time, but damn it step up! I look to you for guidance and support, and feel like I'm not getting either. I'm embarking into this really terrifying time in my life, and have no idea what to expect or do. I can guarantee you one thing though, I can't do it alone.
I love you...you're one of my closest friends and will always, as cliche as it sounds, have a special place in my heart. With that being said, however, I can't keep hurting. I can't keep crying over this friendship day in and day out. I can't keep feeling the way I do currently. It kills me to feel inadequate, and that is how you make me feel day in and day out...I'm at a loss for what to do about it anymore.
With all the love a friend can give,
Jess
This is me speaking my mind, something that is causing my hands to shake as I write this. This is me being honest, something I should have been with these individuals. This is me, writing to the collective "you," although each and every person reading this can benefit from it's words. This is me poring my heart out, and knowing that could be detrimental, but being so upset about all of this, I don't have the capacity to care anymore...
To whom it may concern:
Hi, how are you? I sincerely hope that you are having an amazing day, as you always seen to be, even if that is a lie. I most certainly, truthfully, am not. Why you ask? Well let's see...I don't lead an amazing lifestyle, and don't fabricate it to sound amazing. Ends aren't meeting this month, and it's really stressing me out. I'm marrying my best friend in 2 weeks, and shortly thereafter saying goodbye to him. He could be going somewhere terrifyingly scary, and the thought of that causes me to be unable to hold it together most moments in the day. School is insane, and I can't wait to graduate-although I'm not sure if I will. Life is crazy, and everything is falling apart. I've never needed support as much as I do now.
I've been turning to you for this, and you haven't been there...not in the slightest. I hate the mini parties I have internally when you say that you want to hang out with me. I get excited when you text me first, as opposed to the other way around. But lately, those parties and exciting times have become few and far between. Countless texts have gone unanswered, or pushed aside for television or another outing. I can't remember the last time I had to state my case for you spending time with me. And, above all else, you questioned my best friend and his position in the United States Military. Just because you think you know it all, doesn't mean you actually do. In this questioning process, you offended not only myself and my to be husband, but his commanding officers and unit as well. Awesome job. I don't care if you hurt me-I'm used to it-but hurting them is not okay in my book.
I'm tired of coming in second place to other friends, the couch, shopping trips and countless other things. I'm not saying you have to be with me or talk to me 110% of the time, but damn it step up! I look to you for guidance and support, and feel like I'm not getting either. I'm embarking into this really terrifying time in my life, and have no idea what to expect or do. I can guarantee you one thing though, I can't do it alone.
I love you...you're one of my closest friends and will always, as cliche as it sounds, have a special place in my heart. With that being said, however, I can't keep hurting. I can't keep crying over this friendship day in and day out. I can't keep feeling the way I do currently. It kills me to feel inadequate, and that is how you make me feel day in and day out...I'm at a loss for what to do about it anymore.
With all the love a friend can give,
Jess
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Man up...It's go time.
It's crazy how little things can make a situation real. A friend request on Facebook can make a friendship "real." A final stroke of a key can make a paper complete. A wedding dress and wedding bands can make the fact that I'm getting married real, and a date of when my man is leaving, makes the fact that he will be gone, a reality.
In case you couldn't gather, yes, we know when he's leaving...and it's soon. So soon. Sooner than I would like (although never is too soon for me). In a matter of weeks, I'm going to be Jessica Lyn Munson, he'll be at boot camp, and there's no turning back after that!
I have Dan's wedding band already, and, as I said in a text to my sister today, I keep looking at it and just want it to be on his finger already! It's so crazy to think about...a wife, let alone a military wife!? It literally makes me breathless when I think about it (that's a good thing I promise!).
In other news, only 58 days until I am a college graduate, which means only about 70 days until I am a full time employee. Don't get me wrong, sooo excited to be working full time, but I like the college bubble! Sure, papers and readings totally aren't my favorite things, but all this responsibility is coming so quickly! At least I'm smiling while I say this right?!
Speaking of responsibilities, the puppy needs to go out and this paper needs to be written! Now for a quote...hmm...
“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come."-The Wonder Years
Until later...
In case you couldn't gather, yes, we know when he's leaving...and it's soon. So soon. Sooner than I would like (although never is too soon for me). In a matter of weeks, I'm going to be Jessica Lyn Munson, he'll be at boot camp, and there's no turning back after that!
I have Dan's wedding band already, and, as I said in a text to my sister today, I keep looking at it and just want it to be on his finger already! It's so crazy to think about...a wife, let alone a military wife!? It literally makes me breathless when I think about it (that's a good thing I promise!).
In other news, only 58 days until I am a college graduate, which means only about 70 days until I am a full time employee. Don't get me wrong, sooo excited to be working full time, but I like the college bubble! Sure, papers and readings totally aren't my favorite things, but all this responsibility is coming so quickly! At least I'm smiling while I say this right?!
Speaking of responsibilities, the puppy needs to go out and this paper needs to be written! Now for a quote...hmm...
“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come."-The Wonder Years
Until later...
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Changes...
Hey Everyone!
Ok, ok...I didn't keep up with the one post a day thing! I'm mad enough at myself for it, so don't worry about getting on my case too much! Things like school, a house, 3 new furry kiddos and major life changes (not including those already mentioned) have definitely gotten in the way...I think maybe once a week is a good goal for where I'm at in my life currently. We'll see how that goes!
I guess the biggest life change(s) I seemed to gloss over before was the fact that, in a matter of weeks, I'll be saying goodbye to the most important person in my life. My soon (sooner than planned) husband is going to be off to basic training for the military. I've never felt so many emotions at once before. The military is and has always been a dream of his. While in college, at RIT, Dan (said hubby-to-be) was in the Air Force ROTC program. Upon returning from Basic, he was hit head on by a drunk driver, leaving him in a coma, and thus forcing him to leave his unit. He's (thank God) recovered completely, and and itching for another go at being a soldier. He'll be off to training in either South Carolina or Georgia for 12 long weeks of no civilian contact.
That's where I come in-the civilian. No contact with him for 12 hours seems like the biggest challenge in the world and you want me to not talk to him for 12 weeks?! That sounds like a jail sentence for me. Sure, sending letters is one thing, but no response...I can't even imagine...
I can't really describe how I'm feeling overall. Ask my closest friends and they'll tell you it ranges from extreme pride to fear to anger to nervousness back to pride, which quickly turns to, as one of my friends calls it "happy or sad tears" depending on the emotion that came before them-all of this in a matter of minutes mind you. I'm so happy that my man is able to follow his dreams of being a soldier, and don't get me wrong, I'm so ecstatic to be a military wife, and hold down the home-front while he's gone.
It's just all happening so fast.
One minute it was a phone call, the next it was a checklist of things to make sure we do before he leaves and an appointment card for his medical authorization. I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, vent to about it, or get answers from. Lack of information scares me, and I think that's what is making me as anxious as I am. I'm sure, as most people are saying, everything will be fine-it's just so much at once. In a matter of weeks I'll be married and living in our new house, alone...
I know that's a somber ending, and far from how I'm feeling (these are happy tears, I swear!), but it's the truth of the situation. Life changes aren't always easy or well understood-that's why we as humans hate change. At this point, I'm rolling with the punches, accepting what is coming day by day, and buying lots of red, white and blue...
"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him...A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind."
Until later...
Ok, ok...I didn't keep up with the one post a day thing! I'm mad enough at myself for it, so don't worry about getting on my case too much! Things like school, a house, 3 new furry kiddos and major life changes (not including those already mentioned) have definitely gotten in the way...I think maybe once a week is a good goal for where I'm at in my life currently. We'll see how that goes!
I guess the biggest life change(s) I seemed to gloss over before was the fact that, in a matter of weeks, I'll be saying goodbye to the most important person in my life. My soon (sooner than planned) husband is going to be off to basic training for the military. I've never felt so many emotions at once before. The military is and has always been a dream of his. While in college, at RIT, Dan (said hubby-to-be) was in the Air Force ROTC program. Upon returning from Basic, he was hit head on by a drunk driver, leaving him in a coma, and thus forcing him to leave his unit. He's (thank God) recovered completely, and and itching for another go at being a soldier. He'll be off to training in either South Carolina or Georgia for 12 long weeks of no civilian contact.
That's where I come in-the civilian. No contact with him for 12 hours seems like the biggest challenge in the world and you want me to not talk to him for 12 weeks?! That sounds like a jail sentence for me. Sure, sending letters is one thing, but no response...I can't even imagine...
I can't really describe how I'm feeling overall. Ask my closest friends and they'll tell you it ranges from extreme pride to fear to anger to nervousness back to pride, which quickly turns to, as one of my friends calls it "happy or sad tears" depending on the emotion that came before them-all of this in a matter of minutes mind you. I'm so happy that my man is able to follow his dreams of being a soldier, and don't get me wrong, I'm so ecstatic to be a military wife, and hold down the home-front while he's gone.
It's just all happening so fast.
One minute it was a phone call, the next it was a checklist of things to make sure we do before he leaves and an appointment card for his medical authorization. I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, vent to about it, or get answers from. Lack of information scares me, and I think that's what is making me as anxious as I am. I'm sure, as most people are saying, everything will be fine-it's just so much at once. In a matter of weeks I'll be married and living in our new house, alone...
I know that's a somber ending, and far from how I'm feeling (these are happy tears, I swear!), but it's the truth of the situation. Life changes aren't always easy or well understood-that's why we as humans hate change. At this point, I'm rolling with the punches, accepting what is coming day by day, and buying lots of red, white and blue...
"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him...A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind."
Until later...
Friday, February 18, 2011
Alright alright, I'll do it
So my friend Jen tagged me in this random facebook free response survey thing...I figured, since I'm too stressed to write about anything else, I'll fill it out here, as I'm sure you're all dying to know these details about my life! hah
This survey gets all in your business, are you ready?
Oh bring it on..
Will you marry your high school sweetheart?
BAHAHAHAHA nope!
Do you like your hair?
Not currently no...wish I had the money to really do it the way I want to.
Have you ever kissed just a friend?
Yup.
Do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to?
Occasionally...but I think it's better if I'm left in the dark. I've moved on, he's moved on and I'm happy.
If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
Walt Disney World, or my new house =) =)
Your last ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you do?
Clearly you're at the wrong place...shall I point you in the correct direction?
Have you ever been used?
Yup. Often. The most recent time really hurt.
Ever been cheated on?
Yes.
Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with a D?
Oh ya know..just everyday for the past year or so =)
When someone says "we need to talk," what runs through your mind?
Shit....
Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Bhahaha yup...most amazing times!
Have you ever been in a car accident?
Just two-one I was too young to remember, and a fender bender a few years back. I'm very lucky thank God.
What did you do last night?
Some cleaning, homework, tv watching and cuddling with my man =)
Would you rather give up the computer or the TV?
TV-I mean come on, you can get TV on the computer! haha
Do you learn from your mistakes or find yourself constantly repeating them?
Depends on the mistake I made-I'm trying to learn from them, but it isn't always easy.
Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello?
You could say that... =)
Do you think life is easier when you're young or older?
I don't think life is ever easy, no matter what your age. Each passing year comes with its own struggles.
What is one thing you will not tolerate in a relationship?
Lack of trust or lying.
Are you secretly fighting a battle with something/someone?
Does myself count? Other than that maybe one person I could think of
Are you the type of person who always needs to be in a relationship?
Goodness no, but I don't have to worry about that anyways
Do you think someone is falling in love with you?
I'm pretty sure he already fell =)
Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth?
yup!
Name someone from your past that you wish was still there?
Great Grandma Jessie.
Can you do a handstand?
LOL-nopeeee
Will you be over 21 in 2012?
Nope...23 =)
Last person you talked to on the phone: who are they, and why did they call?
Hubby (on the phone with him right now), called to tell me when he was going to be home =)
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching Pretty Little Liars.
Are you missing anyone?
Yeah-understatement of the century.
What do you currently hear?
Dan's voice
Have you kissed more than 4 people this year?
Nope.
Have you ever been disappointed in yourself?
Yes-again, understatement of the century.
Are you someone who hates to read?
Oh goodness no! You should have seen my excitement when Borders announced their going out of business sale for this weekend!
Are you proud of the person you've become?
Depends on what part of my life your were talking about. For the most part, yes.
Will you cry tonight?
Considering my current state, probably XD
Have you ever been suspended from school?
Nope...I was a goodie two shoes!
Have you ever cried to get out of trouble?
Perhaps once or twice.
Did you answer all of these questions honestly?
Yes ma'am...or sir...or person out there!
Do you have a best friend?
I have two extremely close friends. Don't use the term best friend-too exclusive. I consider them both sisters, and couldn't live a day without either of them. Of course, Dan is also one of my best friends =)
The last person who calls you calls again, what's it about?
Probably to let me know he's outside to pick me up so we can have our late night Walmart shopping date =)
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
I do...love him so much
If you could change your eye color what would you change it to?
I LOVE my eyes....wouldn't dare change them at all!
Do you like to hold hands?
Yes!!!! LOVE it...especially in the car =)
Are you one of those people who are always cold?
OMG yes...had medical tests done because of it!
When was the last time you worked at your job?
Wednesday =)
What did you last eat?
Oyster crackers
Are you a jealous person?
Sadly, yeah-one of the things I wish I could change about myself.
Do you think age matters in relationships?
Depends. 21 and 14 doesn't work in my eyes, but 29 and 22 does....
Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to now?
Many
Do you like to sleep?
yes yes yess! One of my favorite things
Ever feel like you're not good enough?
Constantly
What month were you born in?
January.
In the past week have you cried?
Multiple times! LOL
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Nope-more like 7:30/8:00.
When's the last time you straightened your hair?
Don't...I have pin straight hair that most are jealous of!
Did you sleep alone last night?
Nope...haven't for a while and won't have to until next summer!
Are your ears pierced?
mmhmm
When you say you're sorry do you mean it?
Always.
What were you doing at 1:30 am?
Watching television.
How many houses have you lived in?
Two houses, three dorm rooms, one apartment. Moving into the house I just bought soon!
Do you like coffee?
LOVE IT. Missing it terribly right now.
Are you afraid to stay home all alone?
Sometimes...I moreso just HATE being alone.
Have you ever been called babe, baby or honey?
yes, yes and yes =)
Have you ever crawled through a window?
Can't say I have
Do you have any scars?
5 or 6 I think.
What will you do after this survey?
Walmart date, greys and pretty little liars...eventually sleep =)
Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to?
I know a Coon...does that count?
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Depends on the person I am talking to. Some people, I can be a closed book, but my sisters/friends and Dan, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Sometimes-again depends on the situation
Whose hand did you hold last?
Dan's =)
Do you think some people dont like you?
Of course.
Do you have trust issues?
Sadly, yeah...working through them though
Do you have anything that doesn't belong to you?
Yes.
Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight?
Haha a few times actually...
Is this summer gonna be a good one?
I think I can answer that question better on Tuesday =)
Phew, well that was painless. Sorry if you're bored to tears at this point!
"Getting to know someone else involves curiosity about where they have come from, who they are."
Penelope Lively
Until tomorrow...
This survey gets all in your business, are you ready?
Oh bring it on..
Will you marry your high school sweetheart?
BAHAHAHAHA nope!
Do you like your hair?
Not currently no...wish I had the money to really do it the way I want to.
Have you ever kissed just a friend?
Yup.
Do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to?
Occasionally...but I think it's better if I'm left in the dark. I've moved on, he's moved on and I'm happy.
If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
Walt Disney World, or my new house =) =)
Your last ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you do?
Clearly you're at the wrong place...shall I point you in the correct direction?
Have you ever been used?
Yup. Often. The most recent time really hurt.
Ever been cheated on?
Yes.
Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with a D?
Oh ya know..just everyday for the past year or so =)
When someone says "we need to talk," what runs through your mind?
Shit....
Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Bhahaha yup...most amazing times!
Have you ever been in a car accident?
Just two-one I was too young to remember, and a fender bender a few years back. I'm very lucky thank God.
What did you do last night?
Some cleaning, homework, tv watching and cuddling with my man =)
Would you rather give up the computer or the TV?
TV-I mean come on, you can get TV on the computer! haha
Do you learn from your mistakes or find yourself constantly repeating them?
Depends on the mistake I made-I'm trying to learn from them, but it isn't always easy.
Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello?
You could say that... =)
Do you think life is easier when you're young or older?
I don't think life is ever easy, no matter what your age. Each passing year comes with its own struggles.
What is one thing you will not tolerate in a relationship?
Lack of trust or lying.
Are you secretly fighting a battle with something/someone?
Does myself count? Other than that maybe one person I could think of
Are you the type of person who always needs to be in a relationship?
Goodness no, but I don't have to worry about that anyways
Do you think someone is falling in love with you?
I'm pretty sure he already fell =)
Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth?
yup!
Name someone from your past that you wish was still there?
Great Grandma Jessie.
Can you do a handstand?
LOL-nopeeee
Will you be over 21 in 2012?
Nope...23 =)
Last person you talked to on the phone: who are they, and why did they call?
Hubby (on the phone with him right now), called to tell me when he was going to be home =)
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching Pretty Little Liars.
Are you missing anyone?
Yeah-understatement of the century.
What do you currently hear?
Dan's voice
Have you kissed more than 4 people this year?
Nope.
Have you ever been disappointed in yourself?
Yes-again, understatement of the century.
Are you someone who hates to read?
Oh goodness no! You should have seen my excitement when Borders announced their going out of business sale for this weekend!
Are you proud of the person you've become?
Depends on what part of my life your were talking about. For the most part, yes.
Will you cry tonight?
Considering my current state, probably XD
Have you ever been suspended from school?
Nope...I was a goodie two shoes!
Have you ever cried to get out of trouble?
Perhaps once or twice.
Did you answer all of these questions honestly?
Yes ma'am...or sir...or person out there!
Do you have a best friend?
I have two extremely close friends. Don't use the term best friend-too exclusive. I consider them both sisters, and couldn't live a day without either of them. Of course, Dan is also one of my best friends =)
The last person who calls you calls again, what's it about?
Probably to let me know he's outside to pick me up so we can have our late night Walmart shopping date =)
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
I do...love him so much
If you could change your eye color what would you change it to?
I LOVE my eyes....wouldn't dare change them at all!
Do you like to hold hands?
Yes!!!! LOVE it...especially in the car =)
Are you one of those people who are always cold?
OMG yes...had medical tests done because of it!
When was the last time you worked at your job?
Wednesday =)
What did you last eat?
Oyster crackers
Are you a jealous person?
Sadly, yeah-one of the things I wish I could change about myself.
Do you think age matters in relationships?
Depends. 21 and 14 doesn't work in my eyes, but 29 and 22 does....
Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to now?
Many
Do you like to sleep?
yes yes yess! One of my favorite things
Ever feel like you're not good enough?
Constantly
What month were you born in?
January.
In the past week have you cried?
Multiple times! LOL
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Nope-more like 7:30/8:00.
When's the last time you straightened your hair?
Don't...I have pin straight hair that most are jealous of!
Did you sleep alone last night?
Nope...haven't for a while and won't have to until next summer!
Are your ears pierced?
mmhmm
When you say you're sorry do you mean it?
Always.
What were you doing at 1:30 am?
Watching television.
How many houses have you lived in?
Two houses, three dorm rooms, one apartment. Moving into the house I just bought soon!
Do you like coffee?
LOVE IT. Missing it terribly right now.
Are you afraid to stay home all alone?
Sometimes...I moreso just HATE being alone.
Have you ever been called babe, baby or honey?
yes, yes and yes =)
Have you ever crawled through a window?
Can't say I have
Do you have any scars?
5 or 6 I think.
What will you do after this survey?
Walmart date, greys and pretty little liars...eventually sleep =)
Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to?
I know a Coon...does that count?
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Depends on the person I am talking to. Some people, I can be a closed book, but my sisters/friends and Dan, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Sometimes-again depends on the situation
Whose hand did you hold last?
Dan's =)
Do you think some people dont like you?
Of course.
Do you have trust issues?
Sadly, yeah...working through them though
Do you have anything that doesn't belong to you?
Yes.
Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight?
Haha a few times actually...
Is this summer gonna be a good one?
I think I can answer that question better on Tuesday =)
Phew, well that was painless. Sorry if you're bored to tears at this point!
"Getting to know someone else involves curiosity about where they have come from, who they are."
Penelope Lively
Until tomorrow...
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I just want a wink or two
It's currently 4:12 am...
I am so tired...
Too tired to function...
But, just like every single night for the past month and a half...
I
Can't
Sleep.
I'm tired of hearing it is a normal thing-this is no longer not normal. I can literally feel myself getting sick (and enraged). I can't not sleep, and then have class from 9am-7pm straight through like I do tomorrow. Not only did I realize I'm becoming an adult when I dreamed about backsplashes, I realized I was becoming an adult when I came to the realization that I can't pull all-nighters like I did freshman year.
Someone out there try to catch a few z's for me??
Today's quote- "I WANT TO FREAKIN SLEEP!!"-ME
Until tomorrow (today)....
I am so tired...
Too tired to function...
But, just like every single night for the past month and a half...
I
Can't
Sleep.
I'm tired of hearing it is a normal thing-this is no longer not normal. I can literally feel myself getting sick (and enraged). I can't not sleep, and then have class from 9am-7pm straight through like I do tomorrow. Not only did I realize I'm becoming an adult when I dreamed about backsplashes, I realized I was becoming an adult when I came to the realization that I can't pull all-nighters like I did freshman year.
Someone out there try to catch a few z's for me??
Today's quote- "I WANT TO FREAKIN SLEEP!!"-ME
Until tomorrow (today)....
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Realization
friend–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
I always knew I had people in my life I considered friends. People I talked to in class, those I frequently text, those who I see all the time at work...all considered friends. Sure, anyone can be a friend, but there's a heirarchy to this term. There are the bottom level friends, people who wave when you walk past, say hello politely, and ask how your day is going. Then there are the middle level friends, hanging out with them occausionally, seeing how their life is going, the occausional phnoe call or e-mail, etc. Finally, there is the top level friends...these are the friends that are going to be there for you through and through. These are the friends you can trust with your life, and occausionally do. These are the freinds you love and trust. These are the friends that are true.
It wasn't until earlier tonight, I think I realized what the term "true friend" really means. One of my truest friends-sister actually- had dinner with me today. I hadn't seen her in a few days, and when she accepted my offer, I was so excited...We had a lot to catch up on! To make a long story short, her husband has made the brave and admirable decision to join our nations Navy. When she first told me, I couldn't believe it at all! He is a great guy, but I jsut couldn't place him in the Navy. I told myself maybe it wasn't serious, or maybe he was still deciding as I walked to my car to pick her up...
After dinner, and on my way back to my apartment, I realized just how real this decision is, and, although this is far from important, how it will impact me. I've always thought I've been there for this friend, but now I'll have to be there in a whole new capacity, trying to comfort her while her husband is away-something I know little about. I'll have to deal with not seeing him, as he is also a friend of mine, and, the worst realization, I'll have to harbor the insane difficulty it will be to not have her in my life on a regular basis when she moves base to base with him.
Sure, texts, e-mails, Facebook and skype are one thing, but not being able to calorie count at Friendly's, have countless girls nights, go baby clothes shopping and share crazy Outback memories will be impossible. I didn't tell her that (even though I'm sure she'll be reading this in the next 24 hours), that I was holding back tears the whole time I was driving her home-heck, why else would the radio have gotten so loud! After I dropped her off, I lost it, and have been having a hard time holding it together ever since.
I've never really felt like this over a friend before, which brings me to the "true" part. The idea of being with out this true friend and sister figure is going to be rough. I'm so proud of her husband, and her for the strength she is showing by supporting him, and only hope that my hardship with this won't be hard on her. At the same vain however, I now realize just how much she means to me, and how much I love both her and my friendship with her. Love ya sis...
"TRUE friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”
Until tomorrow...
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
I always knew I had people in my life I considered friends. People I talked to in class, those I frequently text, those who I see all the time at work...all considered friends. Sure, anyone can be a friend, but there's a heirarchy to this term. There are the bottom level friends, people who wave when you walk past, say hello politely, and ask how your day is going. Then there are the middle level friends, hanging out with them occausionally, seeing how their life is going, the occausional phnoe call or e-mail, etc. Finally, there is the top level friends...these are the friends that are going to be there for you through and through. These are the friends you can trust with your life, and occausionally do. These are the freinds you love and trust. These are the friends that are true.
It wasn't until earlier tonight, I think I realized what the term "true friend" really means. One of my truest friends-sister actually- had dinner with me today. I hadn't seen her in a few days, and when she accepted my offer, I was so excited...We had a lot to catch up on! To make a long story short, her husband has made the brave and admirable decision to join our nations Navy. When she first told me, I couldn't believe it at all! He is a great guy, but I jsut couldn't place him in the Navy. I told myself maybe it wasn't serious, or maybe he was still deciding as I walked to my car to pick her up...
After dinner, and on my way back to my apartment, I realized just how real this decision is, and, although this is far from important, how it will impact me. I've always thought I've been there for this friend, but now I'll have to be there in a whole new capacity, trying to comfort her while her husband is away-something I know little about. I'll have to deal with not seeing him, as he is also a friend of mine, and, the worst realization, I'll have to harbor the insane difficulty it will be to not have her in my life on a regular basis when she moves base to base with him.
Sure, texts, e-mails, Facebook and skype are one thing, but not being able to calorie count at Friendly's, have countless girls nights, go baby clothes shopping and share crazy Outback memories will be impossible. I didn't tell her that (even though I'm sure she'll be reading this in the next 24 hours), that I was holding back tears the whole time I was driving her home-heck, why else would the radio have gotten so loud! After I dropped her off, I lost it, and have been having a hard time holding it together ever since.
I've never really felt like this over a friend before, which brings me to the "true" part. The idea of being with out this true friend and sister figure is going to be rough. I'm so proud of her husband, and her for the strength she is showing by supporting him, and only hope that my hardship with this won't be hard on her. At the same vain however, I now realize just how much she means to me, and how much I love both her and my friendship with her. Love ya sis...
"TRUE friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”
Until tomorrow...
Sunday, February 13, 2011
"You can tell by the size of the envelope..."
So as some of you know, I applied to a bunch of law schools, as I thought that was the path I was going to take. After completing a life changing social work course, that path is now different, and somewhat still undefined (unfortunately).
I felt so committed to my change after I decided it would be doing, but as the law school acceptance letters come rolling in I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I was so excited about law school and being an attorney, but now, with every letter size envelope that comes to my mailbox, I question what the heck I'm doing with my life.
I know no one can tell me what I should be doing, but I'm tired of questioning. Why can't I just have my career assigned, or stay in college forever and learn about all the things I have the desire to learn about? Why can't this be easier...and why can't I make up my damn mind??
After buying a house and taking a job offer, I realize it's a little too late to pack up and move to Washington, but the constatn "what if?" keeps rolling over and over in my mind. What if I made a terrible, life altering choice? What if I end up unhappy for the rest of time? What if I'm wrong?
I crave the feeling of others being proud of me. If someone uses the p word, it can literally bring me to tears. I never heard it much growing up, and even now, it's uses when it comes to me are few and far between. When I was applying to law schools, my parents, boyfriend and friends were proud of me. They constantly told me how awesome it was that I was so ambitious and how great of a goal and accomplishment it was. Now, I fear my undergrad degree and lack of a solid career will make no one proud. The thought of disappointing people because I may not be reaching my highest potential absolutely crushes me...
This is when my grandpa would tell me to "Have faith Jessie..." and I guess that's the best thing I can do. I just hope and pray faith will lead me to the right path...
"In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse." -T.S. Eliot
Until tomorrow...
I felt so committed to my change after I decided it would be doing, but as the law school acceptance letters come rolling in I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I was so excited about law school and being an attorney, but now, with every letter size envelope that comes to my mailbox, I question what the heck I'm doing with my life.
I know no one can tell me what I should be doing, but I'm tired of questioning. Why can't I just have my career assigned, or stay in college forever and learn about all the things I have the desire to learn about? Why can't this be easier...and why can't I make up my damn mind??
After buying a house and taking a job offer, I realize it's a little too late to pack up and move to Washington, but the constatn "what if?" keeps rolling over and over in my mind. What if I made a terrible, life altering choice? What if I end up unhappy for the rest of time? What if I'm wrong?
I crave the feeling of others being proud of me. If someone uses the p word, it can literally bring me to tears. I never heard it much growing up, and even now, it's uses when it comes to me are few and far between. When I was applying to law schools, my parents, boyfriend and friends were proud of me. They constantly told me how awesome it was that I was so ambitious and how great of a goal and accomplishment it was. Now, I fear my undergrad degree and lack of a solid career will make no one proud. The thought of disappointing people because I may not be reaching my highest potential absolutely crushes me...
This is when my grandpa would tell me to "Have faith Jessie..." and I guess that's the best thing I can do. I just hope and pray faith will lead me to the right path...
"In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse." -T.S. Eliot
Until tomorrow...
Friday, February 11, 2011
Friends, acquaintances, sisters...
*Cue rant here*
So, I'm getting throughly frustrated with parts life at the current moment. I constantly look at Facebook, seeing the various statuses of how this person has plans with this person, or that person is hanging out with this person. It's great that they have plans, but where does that leave me? Where I am currently-on my couch, watching Greek on Netflix....alone. I realize alone time is GREAT but I get lonely just like everyone else.
Once I finally have plans with someone, I find myself so consumed in wanting the outing to last forever because it is so much fun, that I feel as though I miss out on the actual hanging out part. When it's over, I find myself feeling more alone than I did before. I love my friends, but having all this "free time" (or time I should totally be doing my homework or housework), makes it really hard to just be alone.
There is a silver lining however. Being in this kind of situation shows me (reminds me more so) just how amazing my true friends are. Every minute I miss them is a constant reminder of how much I care about them. Through thick and thin, they'll always be there for me-especially when I need them the most. My girls aren't my friends-they're my sisters. I'd do anything for them, and know, even if it was difficult, they would do the same for me. I truly love them for the amazing women they are. I hope they know this...
Another fitting one..."A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart." Kathleen Grove
Until tomorrow...
So, I'm getting throughly frustrated with parts life at the current moment. I constantly look at Facebook, seeing the various statuses of how this person has plans with this person, or that person is hanging out with this person. It's great that they have plans, but where does that leave me? Where I am currently-on my couch, watching Greek on Netflix....alone. I realize alone time is GREAT but I get lonely just like everyone else.
Once I finally have plans with someone, I find myself so consumed in wanting the outing to last forever because it is so much fun, that I feel as though I miss out on the actual hanging out part. When it's over, I find myself feeling more alone than I did before. I love my friends, but having all this "free time" (or time I should totally be doing my homework or housework), makes it really hard to just be alone.
There is a silver lining however. Being in this kind of situation shows me (reminds me more so) just how amazing my true friends are. Every minute I miss them is a constant reminder of how much I care about them. Through thick and thin, they'll always be there for me-especially when I need them the most. My girls aren't my friends-they're my sisters. I'd do anything for them, and know, even if it was difficult, they would do the same for me. I truly love them for the amazing women they are. I hope they know this...
Another fitting one..."A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart." Kathleen Grove
Until tomorrow...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6(3H,7H)-dione
1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6(3H,7H)-dione, C8H10N4O2...no matter what way you write it, I'm addicted to CAFFEINE!
I've been cutting ALL caffeine out of my diet and man, it is hard. Looking at my Keurig every morning and stopping myself from putting one of those little french vanilla cups in it kills me. No soda, no coffee, no nothing...I know it's best for me and my body but the headaches, mood swings and pure exhaustion is just awful! Just...one...tiny....cup...NO! haha
In other news, I started my senior year placement today at the Senior Center in downtown Saratoga. It was so much fun interacting with the seniors, and seeing how they interact with each other. I've already been told I'm going to be taught how to play pool and knit-we will see how that goes! I'm hoping to be a huge help to the agency as they take on new management, renovations and new members. We have a huge fundraising dinner coming up on the 22nd, so we're all busy. Overall it was tons of fun, and I can't wait to go back tomorrow!
Other than that, nothing too exciting going on. I'm on-call this weekend, so I'm hoping that some friends will keep me complany while I hang out in my apartment all weekend. If not, the next 3 days will be full of laundry, homework, cleaning, chores, errands and of course, blogging! WHAT FUN! Hoping to get some things/prices of things for the new house! Thank goodness I love comparison shopping! lol
Totally fitting-"A morning without coffee is like sleep." ~Author Unknown
Until tomorrow...
I've been cutting ALL caffeine out of my diet and man, it is hard. Looking at my Keurig every morning and stopping myself from putting one of those little french vanilla cups in it kills me. No soda, no coffee, no nothing...I know it's best for me and my body but the headaches, mood swings and pure exhaustion is just awful! Just...one...tiny....cup...NO! haha
In other news, I started my senior year placement today at the Senior Center in downtown Saratoga. It was so much fun interacting with the seniors, and seeing how they interact with each other. I've already been told I'm going to be taught how to play pool and knit-we will see how that goes! I'm hoping to be a huge help to the agency as they take on new management, renovations and new members. We have a huge fundraising dinner coming up on the 22nd, so we're all busy. Overall it was tons of fun, and I can't wait to go back tomorrow!
Other than that, nothing too exciting going on. I'm on-call this weekend, so I'm hoping that some friends will keep me complany while I hang out in my apartment all weekend. If not, the next 3 days will be full of laundry, homework, cleaning, chores, errands and of course, blogging! WHAT FUN! Hoping to get some things/prices of things for the new house! Thank goodness I love comparison shopping! lol
Totally fitting-"A morning without coffee is like sleep." ~Author Unknown
Until tomorrow...
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A New Page...
So I figued now, with the multitude of life changes about to occur, would be a great time to start a blog. I remember conntless times asking my parents what they were like at my ages, but sadly, most of the time they can't remember. I thought it would be great to journal every step of this "new page" I'm turning over!
This blog will be full of randomness-how my day is, job changes, picutres, favorite quotes, doctor appointment updates, news stories, school updates-you name it, it will probably be on here!
I'm going to challenge myself to blog daily. I need to make time for myself on a daily basis, and this will be a great way! Don't get mad if I miss a day or two (or 10!) I am a full time college student after all...
Speaking of college, time to finish up this paper and throw on another sweatshirt since it's frigid out...ugh upstate NY!
I promise (or hope) tomorrow's blog will be much more interesting than this! Writing about yourself isn't as easy as it seems!
I figured I'd end every blog with a quote, song lyrics, etc. This one seemed fitting for today!
“When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose: What a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page.”-Elieen Caddy
This blog will be full of randomness-how my day is, job changes, picutres, favorite quotes, doctor appointment updates, news stories, school updates-you name it, it will probably be on here!
I'm going to challenge myself to blog daily. I need to make time for myself on a daily basis, and this will be a great way! Don't get mad if I miss a day or two (or 10!) I am a full time college student after all...
Speaking of college, time to finish up this paper and throw on another sweatshirt since it's frigid out...ugh upstate NY!
I promise (or hope) tomorrow's blog will be much more interesting than this! Writing about yourself isn't as easy as it seems!
I figured I'd end every blog with a quote, song lyrics, etc. This one seemed fitting for today!
“When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose: What a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page.”-Elieen Caddy
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