And the best bride award goes to...ME!

Wow! So much has changed since my last post. Let's see, I got my DREAM dress!! Fell in love with it the second I put it on, and was dead set on getting it! I couldn't get it off my mind the whole appointment! I think we knew it was the one when I looked at Dan's mom and told her I could see myself marrying her son in that dress (cue the tissues for all of us!). It was a great moment.

Also, our parents all met and it went GREAT! All the anxiety I had about it went out the window, which felt awesome! They all got along really well, and have been talking on e-mail! I couldn't be happier, and can't wait for us all to be together again around Christmas!

Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I would give myself the (arguably arrogant--go ahead and think whatever you want) honor of Best Bride. Well, let me explain myself, as I didn't completely self assign the title myself. I guess we'll rewind time to the summertime of 2010. I was asked to be in (we'll leave it at that since my title "changed"...apparently I misread bridesmaid and saw maid of honor...anyways) a wedding that my then friend was having this past October. I went down to Albany to look at dresses with her, and that day, she found the one she loved. I proceeded to buy it, spending $140ish dollars I did not have, but knowing it was what she wanted, and being a bridesmaid, wanted to do whatever I could to make her day perfect. A few weeks later she decided against that dress, and asking us girls to get different one. Apparently I was the only one who had bought the first one, and therefore the only one feeling the financial burden of having to buy not one, but two dresses at this point. Explaining to this individual I couldn't afford a second dress at that time (we're still months away from the wedding at this point) but could do something in the near future, I was, without warning, automatically kicked out of the wedding and replaced in a matter of minutes. I was beyond hurt, crushed and confused, but I found comfort in the fact that I couldn't pull money out of the air (something I thought this person would understand), and if our friendship was defined by dollar signs, maybe it wasn't a friendship I wanted to be a part of. Never the less, I was very upset it was so easy to "replace" me and have me miss out on that day.

Fast forward to this week. It had always been on my mind how hard it was to come up with the money for the original bridesmaid's dress I purchased. It was even harder knowing I bought something I knew I would never use again (it is in fact still in my closet--tags on). Throughout my wedding planning, I had always expressed to Dan, my mom, etc. that I hated asking my best friends to spend that kind of money, but was always reassured that it was what was done, and entirely acceptable. Well that didn't fly with me. So, for the past few weeks I've been pulling crazy overtime at my job to save up some money. When asked, I told everyone I wanted the money to spend on Christmas gifts, when really I had something else in mind.

My girls and I showed up at the bridal salon to try on a few dresses this past Monday, and ultimately decided on the one we purchased (which was a unanimous decision thank goodness). As all of the girls were heading up to the register to pay, I asked them all to step back as I wanted to talk to them. I confirmed they all loved the dresses, and told them how happy and thankful I was that they were all going to be there for me. As a thank you for being such amazing friends, I told them I wanted to pay for their dresses. Of course I was met with the no's and absolutely not's, but luckily for me I had already given my card to the lady at the register, and the transaction was already done. My best friend and maid of honor began to cry, giving me a huge hug and telling me how much that meant to her as spending $160 dollars on a dress wasn't feasible for her currently. Of course, at that point, everyone began to tear up, sharing similar stories, hugs were shared, and the consult told the girls how lucky they were to have a bride like me (thus where the title of Best Bride came in--that's what she told me I was)...I assured her I am the lucky one to have such amazing friends in them. It was a great moment, and one I will cherish forever...

I'm not one to let this wedding come in between any friendships--it's not that important. I love every single member of my bridal party, as well as all those attending the wedding and I really am fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. I love each and every one of you!

Only 196 more days... =)

Save the Date! Only 7 more months!

Save the Dates are officially in the mail. I'm majorly obsessed with them. We had them specially done to match the colors of the wedding, and they look fab if I do say so myself (don't mind the fact that I have a bias as my wonderful husband to be and I are pictured on them!)!

Flowers are picked out and ready to go...so much more expensive than I thought, but they're going to be beautiful and that's all that matters. I'd tell you details, but I want my guests to be totally surprised...guess you'll have to wait and see!

My dad also knows the most amazing cake designer (yes that's her title and her job!) that does cakes for some of Saratoga's elite socialites, and guess what?! SHE'S DOING MY CAKE!! It's going to be 5 tiers of amazingness! I can't wait to see the sketches!

7 months from today I'll just be leaving my reception as Mrs. Jessica Munson! I'm already dreading it being over--it's going to be one amazing day!! I cannot wait!

Things are coming together!

Well I'm about to take the apple caramel cake I made from scratch out of the oven, so I don't have much time to write BUT I wanted to let all my faithful readers know things are really coming together for Dan and I on the wedding front. Our guest list (of 185--YIKES!) is done, save the dates are ordered, families are behind us 100% and things couldn't be more exciting! I'm absolutely loving every minute of the planning, and can't wait to tackle item after item on my extremely long to do list! To-be-Hubby bought me a personalized tote that says "The Future Mrs. Munson" on it for me to keep all my bridal magazines and like that in--it's pink and I love it! Now if only time would move a tad bit quicker--I'm already tired of waiting!!!

HOLY MOLEY!!!

SOOOOO my wedding is 8 months away...EIGHT MONTHS!! That totally seems like a huge number, but it's going to flyyyy by I'm sure!! I absolutely cannot freakin' wait!

Last week, venue--completely paid off (writing an $8,000 check is quite the experience!), DJ appointments this week (music is very important!) Next week flowers and my DRESS!! Ok ok, so I have one hanging in the closet, but this next one is THE DRESS. We're talking mom, future mother in law, bridesmaids and maid of honor at the appointment--the whole experience...THE DRESS!!!

I absolutely cannot wait to call Dan my husband...

Can you tell I'm excited?

New Rule

Please don't act like you know what is best for me. Please don't think you know it all. Please don't judge my opinions, beliefs or choices--I know you don't like it when others do it to you. Your shock and disapproval really upset me earlier. Please don't let it happen again.

Continued

For fear of coming off "ranty" in my last post, I wanted to clarify...

I'm not trying to sound like some snotty girl who expects everyone to come to her and shower her with the kind of love and devotion we see between the characters on "Friends." I'm simply going through this process of finding out I don't value myself the way I should. I tend to (in most cases) surround myself with people that don't make me feel so great, and in turn, cause me to get very upset and enter some pretty low and dark places emotionally. I'm not saying someone should cut a friend out of their lives because they are "up to par" that week. I'm simply saying it is good to know where your expectations are, as well as knowing what you need from others. I just fear I've been having constant "sub-par" friendships, and learning (or striving to learn) how to live upset 5 out of 7 days of the week. I think everyone, at one point or another, can disappoint someone--I'm sure I do in some way shape or form upset a patient, friend, partner, etc. in some cases. BUT with that being said, I recognize this and do whatever I can to make amends (apology, etc.). Expectations, and a lack of meeting them for that matter, isn't an end all be all. Step up. If you know you're being a not so great friend, apologize and be there. If a friend is reaching out to you for help, help them as long as it won't harm you. All we have is each other on this planet. Sure, all we can trust when we lay our heads on our pillows at night is ourselves, but we're human beings. We CRAVE human interaction. Without it, we would basically be cells walking around aimlessly. What I'm getting at (and I apologize for the disorganization of this post), is basically that, although we do not NEED others for survival, stability, etc. (well, that isn't all true, but that's for another blog), having others around is a definite benefit. When this benefit turns harmful as a friend is not being a true "friend," real damage can be done.

"I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing, than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing..."

A talk with arguably one of my best friends last night prompted this post. I guess, after talking with him, I began to realize my expectations in a friendship. Now, don't run and hide--I know expectations is a scary word, but bear with me for a second.

Friendship, hmm...what does that mean to me. I guess I can sum it up in the following.

Friends means being friends.

Friends, do the following (or should according to me):

-Talk on a frequent basis-no not daily, but not days/weeks apart
-Have meaningful conversations when they talk
-Don't lie to each other
-Don't back-stab each other
-Make plans, and KEEP them
-Realize what the other means to them
-Are there for each other, even when times are really tough
-Value each other
-Fight for their friendship, even if they're really really upset
-Apologize when it's necessary, and welcome an apology when it's warranted

I guess I don't find these things to be too hard. A simple text, or dinner out once every week or so doesn't seem like torture--after all, aren't you supposed to WANT to see your friends?

So this got me thinking...why do I settle for friends who don't meet my expectations. Why do I put up with social relationships that are one sided. Why do I, time and time again, ask friends to hang out with me, only to be not answered, rejected, turned down for other people, or worse, have a plan and then be stood up or cancelled on last minute?

Perhaps it's time I stopped living like this...

A wise man once quoted a musical during a conversation with me..."I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing, than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing..." I couldn't have said it better. I'm somewhat fed up with trying to have tons of friends, only to be valued by 2 or 3. I think maybe it's time I invest my efforts in those friends that reciprocate them. I love all of my friends, and would do anything for them, however, when I become the one that is always contacted for straight up money, a meal out they can't afford, advice when none is ever given back, and a shoulder to lean on/ear to listen when there isn't one available for me when I need it, I get a little fed up.

I hate to say I'm weeding out friends, because I'm a strong believer in the fact that if a friendship is termed "lost," perhaps it wasn't ever a friendship at all. Perhaps, these "lost" friendships that I find myself with aren't really friendships in the first place.

I don't mean to seem so jaded or self-deprecating, just food for thought.

To all you readers out there, be best friends when it's warranted. Pick up the phone when you have a second. Don't let those who care about you down, and realize what you have in others.